Desiree Nicole

✨self-care for the soul ✨

Hey There!
Finding yourself is not really how it works. You aren’t a ten-dollar bill in last winter’s coat pocket. You are also not lost. Your true self is right here, buried under cultural conditioning, other people’s opinions and inaccurate conclusions you drew as a kid that became your beliefs about who you are. 'Finding yourself' is actually returning to yourself. An unlearning, an excavation, a remembering who you were before the world got its hands on you" -Emily McDowell

You Don’t Have to be a B*TCH to Get Things Done

Reflecting on life, I noticed that I came a long way to get where I am as my brand. Of course, it took several years of hard work which included tons of shitty job experiences. Now don't get me wrong, I'm extremely grateful for my past experiences as a celebrity stylist assistant, concert production assistant, and content writer. I have worked with so many amazing people, received perks like attending NYFW annually, and gaining skills in things such as photography and fashion design. But things aren't always what they seem.  Life is quite funny actually. You sometimes have to make ridiculous commitments to determine what things you like, love, and hate. For the most part, every job title that I held, I experienced the same thing constantly.  Lack of respect. 

We become so douchey that we end up sitting in the jail that we've created.

While on hiatus from content producing,  I've been using that time to reflect and heal. I came to terms with the fact that my past job experiences weren't emotionally fulfilling and a major aspect of it was due to the constant lack of respect. For me, professionalism is very important. As I mentioned in this article, communication and comprehension are essential in a work environment. The way that we talk to others, as well go hand in hand.  The woman who birthed me has always spoken to me with respect, even when it was time to discipline me, she spoke to me firmly. There is a drastic difference between being firm and just being a bitch.

As a New Yorker, I can attest that we're all hustlers. For the most part, we're naturally fast-paced and quick to get things done; but with that standard, for most, we achieve that success with aggression and dictatorship. Individuals become so wrapped up with higher-up positions that it strokes their ego and drains their soul. It gets to the point where their higher-up position starts consuming them beyond work life. Everything seems to be done controllingly and with hostility. It affects the way they interact with their loved ones to even a shift in perspective. Everything that screams toxic. At that point, things aren't done with love. Everything that has transpired is ego-driven. Power, fame, and success. But when you finally have those things, are you happy or are you trying to be better than everyone else? Are you just reaching for these things just to say you got them first?  As individuals we get so wrapped up in power, that we tend to make other people lives miserable; followed by our own lives. We become so douchey that we end up sitting in the jail that we've created. But again life is so funny. Life can humble you faster than any human being could.

So, where do we go from here? Boundaries. Boundaries are very important. Boundaries are guidelines/rules that you create to emphasize safe and allowed ways for others to behave towards you. Many times I've observed my higher-ups and noticed how they treated their staff. They spoke to them in a belittling manner and clearly, that's not good for mental health. Boundaries is a much-needed safe space for yourself. This is a way to reclaim yourself, for yourself. Despite boundaries being made, employers tend to overstep them which is why I believe that entrepreneurship is on the rise.

Don't be a slave for the dollar, because you ARE the dollar. You are the worth. If there's no you, there's no work. Simple as that. So, keep that in mind the next time your employer tries to belittle you.